I am sitting here in my living room in the dark at 5:58 in the am reading old posts i wrote on a website from when I was pregnant with Jillian. All i can say is WOW! All of the unknowns of expecting a child. Not knowing if boy or girl, if he/she will grace us with their presence early or late. Will he/she be happy and healthy...
Now as JIllians first birthday has come and gone, watching Gods awesome and wonderful plans unfold over this past year, I see how silly I am to worry about such things. Through all of the worries...being off meds, Jillee crying everynight from 10-2, not getting any sleep, wondering if Benjaboo is getting enough attention, how are we affording 4 children, GE laying off...it's all pretty trivial if you ask me. I know the Lord is in control.
A year later, Jillian is a happy smiling sleeping little girl who fits right in to our humble house hold. Ben is adjusting well to not being the baby. I am back on meds and for the most part feeling more like me, and I cannot tell you how many times we find money in the wash! lol. The Lord continues to bless us each and everyday. There really never is a real reason for us to worry when we know Jesus, but silly as we are, we do anyway. But, looking back on my posts and concerns, I realize he had it all under control even then, I just didn't realize it at the time!
Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?